The Good Friday Thought for Today

I wasn’t sure the the piece that follows this introductory blurb would be appropriate for the blog, it’s a very personal piece I wrote early on when I was trying to grapple with the pain of living without The Absent Father.  If you’re a regular on the blog you’ll know this is a recurrent, if not dominant, theme.  The great news to report is it is getting easier.  Whether this is the passing of time, or the amount of times I’ve regurgitated this pain I don’t know, but it is getting easier.  This was about the first time I found my way into any form of peace and although I lost that peace relatively quickly, it is interesting for me to read now, mark the changes in perception, see more clearly where I’ve come from and who I am now.

High Days and Holidays

There is a moment before every holiday when I rather wished I wasn't going away.  It happens every time and my loving and tolerant family try to be understanding and tender as I get myself more and more worked up over the impossiblity of attempting indulgence.  The multiple layers of guilt that unfold as I set myself more and more impossible tasks to complete before day zero approaches can, if unchecked, limit, if not ruin, any benefits of going on holiday.  Which is silly, after all, why go on holiday if not to enjoy yourself?

Well, yes, that is, of course, if you appreciate who you are and what your value in the world is.  How many people go on holiday because it is expected, or perhaps a badge of membership of a group you think you belong to, hope to belong to or comfortable staying within the bounds of?

Why go on holiday?  It was a question the Absent Father would raise to me, a question I couldn't answer because I've always gone on holidays, and he hadn't.  It was not until long after he had left that, well now, really, that I have thought about it and pose today's question: what is a holiday for?