Wanted

Handsome prince on charger to rescue damsel in distress.  Kissing skills particularly important.  Happy ever after to be discussed.

Actually the charger is optional, as is the prince bit, but handsome and kissing are minimum requirements.

The criteria for h&k are to be laid down by said damsel.  Who isn’t really in distress, or terribly powerless just needs a bit of company in her ivory tower.  And perhaps someone with ladder making skills that don’t involve hair.

It is quite important though that the prince doesn’t have a kingdom waiting for him at home where there is someone everyone else thinks is his destiny, especially one of those lowly but lovely maids.  Or worse still a princess that doesn’t understand him.  This must be a prince who finds himself at a crossroads, perhaps having worked his way through the royalty of the vicinity and decided on which type of ivory tower he’d like to assail.  And why.  Maybe he has realised that lowly but lovely maids rarely take to the change of status well and tend to worry about the rest of Court judging her deportment after years of bucket wielding.  Whether dragons and briars are a hindrance to the whole rescuing process or a challenge steadfastly undertaken should be considered, because outwitting said dragons, which are fierce and numerous, and the cutting down of the fast growing briars, is something of task, and are not to be undertaken without due consideration.

If the rescuing prince isn’t actually a prince, well then, maybe he needs to ponder why he is good enough for this damsel.  Has he slayed many dragons, or perhaps he was busy being a highwayman?  Such things are not beyond the bounds of possibility but reflection is terribly important.  However not if it involves gazing at your own reflection at regular intervals and sighing with pleasure.  There are reasons the damsel found herself imprisoned in this tower and one of them involved a rather vain impersonator of princes.  Just a blaggard with a strong jawline, it turned out.  And the morals of a sewer rat.

Yes, morals, honesty and decency.  Really quite important but not so much as being happy in your skin.  And happy with mine.  And all that lies beneath.

So there you go,

Wanted, one prince or equivalent for damsel, more fed up than distressed.  Charger optional.  Apply The Ivory Tower.  No reasonable offer refused subject to proper inspection.  If you get past the dragons and briars.   Oh yes, the damsel is slightly used, but I think you worked that out, didn’t you?